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Monday, December 12th, 2011
12:13 am - Eelie: A Retrospective

I have been reading through my livejournal, and I must say, it makes me seem so much sour-er than I was in reality! Also, I cursed more in high school than at any other point in my life. There are fascinating things to be had here, so I'll leave it up for myself and any others who are interested for reference, but frequently these posts are cringe-worthy in their round-about obvious grasps at attention, which seem to increase rather than decrease with my age at time of posting. How strange, to read this and see how different I was in my attempts to relate to other people through words. It's equally strange to see how much the same I am, which leaks through in the more candid entries not inflated with cynicism, both real and affected.

Anyhow, if you've stumbled upon this, enjoy whatever you can from it!

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Wednesday, November 19th, 2008
10:25 pm - This makes everything lots better.

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Saturday, October 25th, 2008
9:09 pm - My entire life
I've decided I'm becoming an editor. I don't think I could be half as happy being anything else.

Also, who want to go backpacking?

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Friday, August 8th, 2008
12:08 pm
 lololololololololololol finals.

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Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
2:43 pm - Melodrama in the extreme.
 I need some serious perspective right now. I have been hit hard by "Senioritis", but rather than simply enjoying my down time, I feel unbearibly guilty. I can't stomach the fact that I don't put effort into anything any more. That's just not the type of person I am. I've always prided myself on my passion for hard work, on my inability to half-ass anything. But I don't have that anymore. I can't even get myself off my bed to clean my room. It's taking a serious tax on my psyche. I've become completely apathetic and my sense of self worth, always notoriously high (<=kind of a lie, but still), has completely plummeted. To put it plainly, I really just don't give a shit about anything.

And now I've gotten into Brown University. I don't have to energy right now to make the kind of decision that's required of me. Money, housing, family... there's too many factors to take into account, and I just don't feel like dealing with it right now. But right now is the only time I can deal with it. Now or never.

So I need to get back to myself. I need to find myself again, because seriously, I don't have the luxury of just finishing out this year in quiet, hedonistic indulgence of my laziness.

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Monday, March 10th, 2008
6:15 pm

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Saturday, January 5th, 2008
2:27 am - Things stay the same

As an exercise in self-analysis, I will now post a survey I took in January of 2005 and cross off the things that no longer apply to me as of January 2008 (you don't really have to read this, but if you knew me back then, you might get a kick out of it):

Seven things that scare you:
1. Death. Of anyone or anything.
2. Roaches. I hate the damn things.
3. The fact that time never ends. Eternity.
4. Random pains.
5. Nuclear war (obviously).
6. Waiting in line for a roller coaster.
7. Small enclosed spaces.

Seven things that make you laugh:
1. My friends.
2. My family and its history. I have a very amusing family XD. They’re rather derranged. If you ever want to hear the story, it involves gypsies and/or trying to get out of family reunions.
3. Stand up comedians.
4. The Daily Show.
5. A shitload of songs, including: "My Boo", "I'm Into Something Good", "Ramble On", "The Entertainer", and "Blinded By the Light", all of which are good songs (with the exception of "My Boo").
6. The word meatloaf. The guy, too.
7. Poorly written movies featuring bad actors (which usually take the form of crappy singers that woke up one morning and decided that it would be a good career move to appear in a movie and suck).

Seven things you love:
1. Writing and books.
2. FOOD.
3. People watching/cruising in a car, with no place to go.
4. Music. My clarinet. My bass. My CD collection. My stereo. Etc.
5. Stargazing.
6. Movies and video games, TV in general... I’m a pop-culture lemming.
7. And the obligatory response, my friends and family. And God. Also God. Can’t forget Him.

Seven things you hate:
1. My computer. Actually, to be fair, it's spyware I hate.
2. People who don’t know what they’re talking about, but continue to talk about it anyway.
3. The decay of western civilization, and people who like to keep me informed about the decay of western civilization.
4. Narrow minded people. You’re allowed to like more than one kind of music. It is possible. Assholes.
5. Peas and watermelon.
6. The word "Okeechobee". Just typing it makes me want to vomit.
7. The fact that I am constantly losing EVERYTHING. All the time. I'm in a perpetual state of absentminded-ness.

Seven things you don't understand:
1. The saying "the END justifies the MEANS." What does it mean, really?
2. How somene can tell what direction they're facing at night (i.e.- without the help of the sun).
3. Why the letter "c" doesn't actually have it's own sound. It either sounds like "s" or "k". I mean really, what's up with that? (to make "e"s at the end of a word silent but still retain the "s" sound, or to make a vowel that precedes a "k" short instead of long)
4. Russian.
5. E. E. Cummings.
6. The universe and infinite... things.
7. Calculus?

Seven things you wonder about:
1. What would the world be like if everyone had three arms?
2. How do you describe color to a blind person/what would it be like to be blind? Because a person who's been blind their whole life has no idea what it's like to see, and they get along just fine without it (most of the time). They have to. And it's absolutely impossible to describe sight to someone who can't see. So does that mean that there are other senses out there? Senses that are equally as important as sight that we don't have and that we can't tell that we don't have because, well, it's impossible to know what they are without experiencing them?
3. Is there life on other planets, and, if so, are they as obsessed with us as we are with them?
4. Is trying to preserve the environment a noble effort or simply a completely selfish act, meant only to preserve our own species?
5. Is everything that we do ultimately for our own happiness, or someone else's?
6. What the hell is that smell coming from under my bed/my back pack?
7. How does it feel to be out on your own, like a rolling stone?/Can anybody find me somebody to love?/Classic Rock references? WTF?

Top seven things you say the most:
1. Cool.
2. That sucks.
3. That makes me want to cry/vomit.
4. ...yes.
5. Pretty much.
6. I dunno.
7. Uh... whatchamacallit, yeah. (When I'm on the phone I say it like, every two seconds x_X)

Seven things in your room:
1. My bass and clarinet.
2. About three hundred books.
3. A phone.
4. A Gumby action figure.
5. Posters. On the celing.
6. Candles.
7. A lava lamp.

Seven things on your desk:
1. A Sprite bottle.
2. A candle in the shape of a black horse head...
3. A purple lamp.
4. A replica of a skull of a raptor, which I finally unearthed from this kit I got like, five years ago...
5. A gumball dispenser, which is completely devoid of gumballs (of course).
6. A calligraphy set I got from my grandma for Christmas.
7. A small rubber ducky which no longer squeaks.

Right now you are:
1. Taking this test.
2. Sitting down.
3. Listening to music.
4. Watching my little brother, and not getting paid.
5. Thinking about various people...
6. Reading Ender's Shadow.
7. Playing Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories.

Seven famous people you want to meet (living or dead):
You know, I've never really had a fascination with famous people, but if I had to choose seven...
1. Salvadore Dali
2. Dave Matthews
3. Madeline L'engle
4. The guy who played Darth Vader in the original Star Wars movies. Just so I could make the obligatory breathing noises and "Luke! I am you father!" references. Which would probably piss him off, but still.
5. Sigmund Freud
6. This one comedian guy from Friday Night Stand-Up... I can't remember his name at the moment (the one who I keep stealing the "bananana- damn!" joke from), because he seems like a guy I could get along with fairly well. Conversationally amusing, you know? Well, either him or:
7. Jon Stewart.

Seven facts about you:
1. I'm one of the most tolerant people I know. Which isn't necessarily always a good thing.
2. I have no middle name, and when I was little, I wanted it to be Boston.
3. I never finish anything I begin to write (unless, of course, it's for school).
4. I’m a Christian.
5. Due to my family's odd past, it's actually easier to list where I'm not from. I’m not from Colombia, Chile, Iceland, Antarctica, the whole continent of Africa (save Egypt), Russia, West Asia, Ukraine, or Mongolia, and I think that’s about it... give or take a few countries.
6. I like neither Pina Coladas nor getting caught in the rain (although I do have half a brain).
7. I’m an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a vest.

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. See the aurora borealis.
2. Live somewhere where it snows.
3. Fall in love. At least once, you know?
4. Do several things I'm terrified of, such as getting on one of those huge roller coasters at the fair, or go sky diving.
5. Help my dad.
6. Travel the globe. Not the whole globe, of course. I just want to go somewhere other than the contiguous US.
7. Discover something at least slightly substantial/significant.

Seven things you can do:
1. Whistle.
2. Bend my thumb all the way backward.
3. Bake cookies.
4. Carry on an intelligent conversation.
5. Listen to other people.
6. Play the bass and clarinet. But you knew that already.
7. Write.

Seven things you can't do:
1. Draw, other than stick figures and other useless doodles.
2. Pogo-stick.
3. Remember to write in a journal or a diary everyday.
4. Say the word "Abominable" or "Firaga".
5. Play the auto-harp.
6. Dance, other than swing dancing, which no one seems capable of learning how to do ;-;.
7. Understand why being underground makes things better (in the sense of music and movies).

Huh. I think I was a lot more interesting back then.

But a lot less happy, too (<= possibly a lie).

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Friday, December 28th, 2007
2:44 pm
Christmas gifts! I forgot to post what I got:

-Tickle Me Freud doll from Emily
-Kite Runner from Krystina
-Oil lamp pretty thing from Alina
-earrings and a bracelet from Susie and my Dad
-a jacket from Susie and Dad
-Border's gift card from Susie and Dad
-a really neat "LOVE" hoodie thing from Grandpa Ron
-a bag from Grandpa Ron
-Clothes from my grandma
-$100 from Mammaw (hahaha)
-Border's gift card from my Uncle
-pearl necklace and earrings from my cousin
-a puzzle book thing from my other cousin
-$25 from Grandpa Nick
-FFXII Revenent Wings from William (he's cute)
-pjs from Mom and Bill
-BUMMER shirt from my mom
-LAPTOP! from my Mom and Bill
-candy, cookies, edible crap from everyone.
-oh yeah, and Wicked from my mom. 

All in all, a pretty excellent Christmas haul, I'd say.

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Saturday, December 8th, 2007
11:50 am - Uh..
Today would be my anniversary with Jah-El if we were still dating. It's weird how these things work out, isn't it?

I'M NOT NEARLY AS UPSET AS I THOUGHT I WOULD BE. I'M SCARED. Calm before the storm or realization that I just wasn't happy anymore anyway? I don't know.

But I do wish we would talk =\

current mood: ..!

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Sunday, October 28th, 2007
11:28 pm
Am I the only one who finds stick figures hilarious?

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Thursday, August 9th, 2007
2:01 am - My Mother on this season of America's Next Top Model
Seconds before the winner was announced:

"I think Caridee has more potential as a model because... well, because Melrose is a bitch."

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Wednesday, August 8th, 2007
3:09 am - Hahaha, online Health ftw
So in my online health class, I'm doing the "decision-making" segment. Here are two case scenarios that I can choos from to "decide" my way through:

1) You work at the salad bar in a restaurant; your coworkers are your very good friends. They refuse to wear gloves, and they do not wash their hands even after using the bathroom. Your family eats there regularly. What do you do?

You live in the country, the phone is dead, and your father appears to be having severe chest pains. Your mother has been drinking too much, and she is trying to get your father in the car to transport him to the hospital. You know your mother is much too drunk to drive, and you are 15 and have never driven a car. What will you do?

Uh... wtf?

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Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
9:13 pm

I've found that few things take people aback more than having a stranger smile at them.

I'll save the philosophical murmurings about human nature and the perversion of such because it's all been done and I'm sure you're all aware of how jaded and paranoid we've become. I just find it amusing, is all. 

So then, is that sick? That I sometimes smile at strangers to make them uncomfortable?

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Thursday, July 12th, 2007
5:09 pm - Oh.
So I decided to go to virtual counsellor to check on my personal fitness progress (silly online classes), and I noticed a little red dot near my graduation status. I, of course, investigate further. To make a long story short, I guess I owe $87.00 FUCKING DOLLARS TO THE SCHOOL. FUCKING PRE-CALCULUS.

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Sunday, April 29th, 2007
10:27 pm - Hahaha wtf
I was just out for a walk with my mom, and during this walk some guys drove past us, rolled down the car window, yelled, "you got big ass tits," and then drove away.

The end.

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Thursday, April 26th, 2007
10:12 pm - Ah, what the hell is this?
The first time I saw this video was really late at night, and I later thought I made it up (it seems like something my mind would invent). But I didn't, it's real, and here it is:

Alanis Morrisette sings "My Humps".

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Thursday, April 5th, 2007
3:24 pm
Simon Rattle's Candide:

At around 1:17 in that video, you will see Edgar Alen Poe on the timpanis.

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Friday, March 16th, 2007
7:07 pm
"Every instant of time is a pinprick of eternity. All things are petty, easily changed, and vanishing away."

-Marcus Aurelius

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Sunday, March 4th, 2007
4:05 pm - Uh...
Props to Alina and Jah-El (and eventually Emily) for remembering that it was my birthday last Wednesday.

I got a Nintendo DS and two games from my various parents.

A dancing robot, afro gum, and breath spray to make me understand modern art from Alina.

Wario ware from Krystina.

Jah-El got me a card because he's poor, but I like him that way <3

And some art from Malaika (lol at Alina, who hates her a lot).

And that's it. I went out to Thai food on Thursday with my mom, and Italian food on my actual birthday (Wednesday) with my dad.

I think I might have a get together-type thing for my birthday (probably just hanging out at my house or something lame like that) next weekend, on Sunday most likely (because if it's on Saturday, Krystina and I think Chris can't go...)

If you're reading this, you're invited, so call me por favor.

current mood: ennui

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Friday, February 9th, 2007
4:20 pm - I'm doing this instead of my homework.
I dropped my phone when I was failing my driver's test at the DMV, and now the screen is completely gone (a wonderfully apropros ending to that experience, let me assure you; for more details ask me when you see me next, or if you're really just burning to know give me a call). I can't get text messages or even see when I have missed calls...

So basically, if you want to get into contact with me, you're going to have to call until I pick up or perhaps try my home phone number (954-796-2143).

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